  For all those singles out there wondering to themselves, “do online dating sites really work” the simple answer is yes. With the hectic lives most people live today it is often difficult for people to meet someone the old fashioned way. People seem to be more focused on careers and are more likely to put their personal lives on the back burner. We all seem to be working longer hours and devoting more time to our jobs. Kind of messed up, in my opinion, but that’s our current culture. Going out with friends is just that, going out with friends. It’s mostly getting together at a friend’s place or going out for drinks or dancing at clubs. There is no going out to meet a potential life-partner. On the off chance that you do meet someone, it is usually not in the environment you are going to find someone to spend the rest of your days and nights with. And forget the office romance, that is just a soap opera waiting to happen.
So what’s a single gal or guy to do? Use the 21st century technology that helps us in other areas of our lives of course, the internet. There is no longer a social stigma attached to online dating. In fact, more people are doing it than you might think. If you still think online dating is for the desperate or socially awkward think again. More and more single professionals are using online dating to find their potential partners.
What really got me thinking about this article, Do Online Dating Sites Really Work, is all the people I know who have actually met and are still in a relationship with someone they met through online dating. Twenty-one months ago, my sister met a guy on Match.com . At the time I was skeptical of his intentions, mostly because of all the Dateline “To Catch A Predator” episodes I had been watching. The guy turned out to be great and he and my sister just recently got married. After talking to friends and co-workers about the wedding and how my sister and her husband had met, I was surprised to learn that many of them had tried or were currenty trying online dating. Many of them said that they were a little reluctant to disclose that they had gone out on online dates because they felt a little embarassed about having had to go online to meet someone, but once they realized how many of their friends were also doing it they didn’t feel so self-concious. After hearing their experiences - some good, some funny - they all commented that they all enjoyed their experiences, even if the person they met turned out not to be the one for them. It was still fun and exciting to meet someone new who they otherwise never would have had the chance to meet. What really caught me off-gaurd though was that two of my co-workers and one of my more recent friends actually met their significant others through online dating.
With my new found wealth of information, I decided to ask them all for suggestions on how to make the online dating process enjoyable while staying safe. Here’s what they suggested:
Online Dating Tips
- When using a dating site be smart in your approach. It is important that you be selective in just the same way you would be offline. Just like ;your chances of finding a significant other in a bar are slim, they’ll also be pretty slim if you go looking for your true love on a site with a strong “adult” flavor. So make sure to tailor your search to what you want.
- Be patient - there are thousands of people online, so it may take a little time to find the person who is right for you.
- If you are a reserved person or are a little reluctant about “exposing” yourself in a phone call or meeting, you can hide behind the relative anonymity of chat or e-mail until you become more comfortable.
- Most online dating sites ask members to write a profile, so write an honest profile. "It’s the profile that separates the contenders from the pretenders", (thanks for the quote Pete). Other users look to your profile to find things out about you that help you to stand out from the crowd. You have to remember that there are probably many thousands of people with your age, height, and other characteristics living in the same geographical area. You need to give the reader something that will make him/her think you’re a cut above the rest.
- What you write in your profile is up to you, just be honest. If you are having a difficult time coming up with something to write, take time to go and look at other ads written by people of the same gender as you. Find the ones you like, love, and hate and consider why - are they funny, inventive, thought provoking or are they generic, dull, bland, and desperate? Once you decide on the image you would like to project, go for it. Be sure to tell your reader what you are really like and what you are looking for in a partner. Remember, be truthful.
- My co-worker Jodi says, “Try to avoid using abbreviations. They are bad for two reasons. They suggest you’ve been on the dating scene so long you’ve acquired a new language, plus there will also be people reading your profile who have no idea what you are trying to say!”
- Post a photo. Just like your profile it is what sets you apart. Plus, ads with photos attract over 5 times as many responses than those without. Think about it, wouldn’t you prefer to see who you’re responding too? Everyone I talked to said to use a recent photo that looks like you today. One of my friends told of an experience where he established a correspondence with someone whose photo attracted him, only to discover the person was really 5 years older and much heavier when they actually met. Even though he liked the person, he was annoyed by her so called innocent deception, and ended up terminating the online relationship. Again, be honest because if you’re not you will only be hurting yourself in the end.
- Once you’ve written your profile and posted a decent photo you need to consider a few other factors, such as your age, geographical location, and who you’re seeking. If you’re a 50 year-old person living in a remote location seeking someone who lives nearby, you’re probably going to find the going rough. Don’t be affraid to broaden your horizons a little.
- Once you find someone online who you want to meet, write them a compeling initial email or instant message. Keep in mind that the person you are sending the message to may receive many such messages, so yours needs to stand out. My sister says to make it original because it is easy to spot a cut-and-paste job and no one wants to be spun a line. It was her husband’s original initial email that compelled her to write him back.
- Finally, if you are truly looking to form a meaningful relationship, avoid messages which are overly sexually overt in the first instance because you may offend the person. Waite until the relationship takes off, then you can get as suggestive as you like ; )
So, do online dating sites really work? Based on responses from friends, family, and co-workers I conclude that yes they do. Put aside your preconceived notions about online dating and consider the advantages. If you decide to give it a try, I suggest using Match.com because that’s where my sister met her husband and it’s the online dating service that most of my friends and co-workers use. Chemistry.com is also another online dating site some of them have used. If you are ready to look for love online, you are certainly not alone.
Try either Match.com or Chemistry.com and see if online dating will work for you too:
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